Did you notice I assumed you are "beating your head against the wall?" I can nearly guarantee, with very few exceptions, that you are doing something currently that feels exactly that way. You may feel stuck in a relationship, dissatisfied with your living space, or wondering why you haven't found a job in the same field as that expensive degree you obtained. But, if you can't find something in your life that fits this description, just stop reading, don't waste your time and I'll see you back here next week! Oh....And kudos to you! You rock!
Still reading, aren't you? Here's the kicker - I'm still here, too, and writing this blog. In my own past history someone else was usually involved in me bloodying my head. Mind you, I always had his/her best intentions in mind. The problem was that it was what I wanted for them, not what they wanted. But I, in my infinite wisdom, had decided someone else needed to be more expressive or successful or something. My heart, and yours, too, is in the right place. We mean well, but because we don't have agreement with the other person in this endeavor it doesn't work out to our liking.Haven't you said, or heard someone say, "S/He has SO much potential! If only s/he would (fill in the blank)." It seems we human beings have some innate ability to readily recognize exactly what everyone else should be doing. And here's the second kicker: While we're busy trying to figure out or help everyone else be amazing, we probably aren't doing such a bang up job on ourselves.
Here is some "Terry Talk" for you to chew on: You cannot have a relationship with someone's potential (though God knows I've tried at times!). I first figured this out decades ago and it's still true. Ignoring that statement is why we find ourselves so frustrated at times. We can so easily be intoxicated in the potential that we fail to see the individual.
When we unilaterally decide someone needs our input and/or guidance they become a "project." If we are not mindful, we get so involved in helping the other person to be wonderful that it becomes our purpose in life. Meanwhile, the authentic self within us is screaming, "What about me?!?" "Why aren't my needs being met?"
That's why that even if we convince our loved one to do what
we feel is right for them we still don't feel quite complete with the process. And there's the biggest clue on this path - if it doesn't feel right, then why are we doing it?
Unfortunately, instead of stepping back, taking a deep breath and examining our own potential we can very easily get sucked into finding another "project," aka "victim." The question is, When will it be your turn to be amazing? When will you give yourself the time to nurture the greatest potential within you? When will you take the step to stop pining about your potential and take the steps necessary to fulfill your purpose on earth? We have to recognize our gifts - otherwise we are robbing the world of something no one else can give - and then act in such a way as to make them available to the world.
A big part of our work on this planet is that of service to others. We must, however, begin with ourselves. Another universal truth is "As above, so below. As within, so without." It is only by giving fully of ourselves that we can truly be the most effective in helping others, and that means recognizing our unique inner light.
To get more deeply in touch with your inner guidance I would like to suggest that over the next few days you stop yourself - even for a moment - when you next find you are lamenting over a friend or loved one not living up to their potential. Take that opportunity to bless them on their current path, close your eyes and ask yourself, How can I best fulfill my own potential? What within me is calling me to come forward, to color outside the lines, to show the world who I am? And, as always, have fun with this!
Terry Drew Karanen, author, speaker, life coach.
email: terry@terrydrewkaranen.com
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