How To Find Love And Happiness In Four Steps

“The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved.” 

Mother Theresa 

If only...

Did you ever have the sense that your life is incomplete? That you feel lonely as if not much is going right for you? Have you ever felt that if only you could find that ideal partner-someone who could meet your every need... you would feel happy all the time-----your soul mate!

It’s possible to get stuck in an endless loop of believing that there is something inherently wrong with us--that we will NEVER find that one special partner to call our own who will make our life all better and bring us true happiness.

Over 40 million Americans have looked for love with online dating. About 22% of all online matches end in a relationship although it’s difficult to determine how successful or long lasting these relationships are. Regardless-digital dating, relying on your friends for an introduction, speed dating, or even using a matchmaker, when we do find that special one, no matter how wonderful the person is.... Have you found that things change over time and suddenly you are working on the exact same issues that you had with your former “soul mate”? 

What if happiness is not about our soul mate and who we can attract-what if happiness is all about us?

I have this idea that when we can perceive that Spirit lives within us and everyone else, then we will remember the Truth of our Being, that we are connected.  And when we perceive Spirit within, we will love ourselves because of the constant companionship of Spirit within and that these new perceptions will change how we think about soul mates, friendship and love.  We will no longer feel lonely because with this new understanding we are never alone.

Perhaps when we live with this perception of Spirit within, and accept our own humanity and oneness with each other, we can move beyond the expectation that a soul mate will complete us, make us better, and end our soul's loneliness.

Once we have shifted our awareness to appreciation of our truth we will have a new found freedom and an appreciation for mutual partnership because  we will become brave enough to accept responsability for our own happiness & well being. That will take the pressure off what potential soul mates are supposed to do for us and make it easier for this mutual partneship to be a success.

Finding love and happiness begins inside your own heart.

The Four Steps

1. Work with a mirror.  First try looking in the mirror. Ask yourself the following questions out loud while looking at yourself: Can you love yourself? Are you undeserving of your own love? Is it true that you can only be fixed by someone else? (You may be creating a reality of lack and loneliness by holding on to a limited set of beliefs about yourself. Even if I am wrong… taking these next steps to give it a try will at least help you to feel better about yourself.) 
2. Work with imagination. While looking at yourself in the mirror visualize the highest form of love that you can imagine flowing through you, in you and round about you. Imagine powerful love flowing out from you into the world. 
3. Work with appreciation. When you are to feel that powerful love begin to appreciate yourself for doing this work.  While looking at yourself you might say--silently or out loud-- words of appreciation and self acceptance.  You could even mention how truly magnificent you already are.  I have this idea that when we can do that, THEN Nature feels the impression of the positive self-recognition and responds by working with you to create a matching flow. 
4. Work with attitude.  Go about your life with an attitude of an explorer.  Be on the lookout for subtle changes around you, interesting connections, coincidents and changes.  Expect everything to be paving the way for you to experience wholesome, healthy, mutual partnership.

I recommend practicing these four steps daily for as long as it feels good.  Then, when that new partner comes up to you and says “Hi Gorgeous” you meet them with the work of self love alive in you, and you'll be ready to perceive them, not as a savior, but as their own unique expression of Spirit, and that way, the two of you can walk together in Freedom.

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