Great Expectations-guest post by Terry Drew Karanen

Have you ever suffered disappointment at some time in your life?

I suppose that's a rhetorical question since the answer is, "Well, duh!" We all experience disappointments. Most of my disillusionments have come from when I fall short of reaching my own goals or expectations for myself, not when others fail to live up to my desires. If you, like me, have been given the title of perfectionist (as if that was a badge of shame!), you are well aware that someone who is always striving for perfection is usually harder on him/herself than other people. We SO want to do it "right," whatever "right" is for us, for others or society. It begs the question, Is perfection is really possible? Are we running on a treadmill of frustration by trying so hard? In fact, why have expectations, great of otherwise, at all?

It's never perfect and it's always perfect.

Let me explain what I mean by that. I've been privileged to officiant for at least a hundred weddings, holy unions, commitment ceremonies, baptisms, christenings, funerals and memorials over my twenty years in ministry, as well as house blessings, pet blessings and a few exorcisms (more about that another time...). What I can report to you is that when planning the event the people involved want it to be "perfect" - this is particularly true for weddings. The belief is that we have "one shot" to get this right. No retakes. No revisions. One shot. Period.

One of the places I perform weddings in our area has a beautiful, expansive Italian garden. Most brides select a processional that goes from the very top of the gardens to a pavilion at the bottom. With a large wedding party it can take up to seven or eight minutes, but choreographed correctly by "moi" it's a beautiful and memorable event - unless it rains, as it often can in the summer here in south central Pennsylvania. We had an absolute downpour one day, but the bride was adamant about the processional. So it took place, in the downpour, with huge golf umbrellas provided by the resort for some protection. And ... it was perfect.

HOW could it have been?!? The couple had great expectations of their special day and a near monsoon was not part of the plan. I've heard there's an Italian tradition that says when it rains on your wedding it means God is showering you with blessings. If that's the case this couple was blessed beyond all expectation! The bride got exactly what she wanted - a beautiful processional - even if the gown and bridesmaids dresses were a little worse for the wear upon arrival at the lower pavilion. You might think I was dealing with a bridezilla who, come hell or (in this case) high water, was going to have it her way or the highway. Not at all.

I don't see it that way. If anything, I believe it showed a willingness, tenacity, dedication and determination to fulfill the desire of her fiancé and her. Have you had your plans go array to this extent, or even more severe? Did you think it was a failure and did you suffer the event? It's never perfect and it's always perfect. What that means to me is that it, whatever "it" is, is going to be exactly what it's going to be. We can plan or outline every single detail and be disappointed if things don't go according to plan, or we can go with the flow and enjoy the moment for what it is. Scripture says, "Time and unforeseen circumstances befall us all." What does that mean? It means life happens. "Shift" happens.

How we deal with the changes and shifts in life about which we seem to have no control will determine our moods, our attitudes about life, how much people want to be around us, and our future. Without "great expectations" of our future we will most likely end up with a less than a stellar or satisfying life. What do you "expect?" When Emma Curtis Hopkins, New Thought teacher and mental healing expert, was asked by Raymond Charles Barker why she thought a particular case for which she was present seem to have a healing that occurred so quickly and easily. Her answer? "It was what I expected." Can't you just imagine in the story of the resurrection of Lazarus when the great teacher Jesus proclaimed, "Lazarus, come out!" but nothing happening? Excuse me? The healing was, again, what he expected.

What do you expect from life, from your future? I invite you this week to think bigger than ever about what you want your life to look like. Would you be willing to do that? You could sit quietly, calm your senses and uncover the joys you desire, the peace you seek and the healings you require. Write those down, without regard to how many come up, and then pick just three. I'm not talking about a new car or a new job. I'm talking about how you envision a peace, a more harmonious life. Then give it to Spirit and expect great things! Let me know how that works out for you!

Special thanks to: Terry Drew Karanen
                             author, life coach, blogger, speaker
                             email: terry@terrydrewkaranen.com

You might also enjoy: How to Find Love and Happiness in Four Steps
                                 Three Essential Ingredients for Joy
    4 Out of 10 Americans May Be Obese-What 2 of Them Did About It

Divergent Diet

While you and I were growing up and learning how to take care of ourselves-- around the world scientists have been studying what people eat. Asking whether or not-- what we eat makes a difference to our health? Have you ever wondered about this?

Could it be true that what we eat can influence how we feel and think and how healthy we are?  

What the global nutrition research community has to say:

For the past 19 years- 20 different research projects evaluated the diets of 760,000 people in the United States, Europe and Asia. When the final results were published this year it was quite dramatic:

*Eating  2 1/2 cups of fruit per day reduces the risk of stroke by 32 %. 1

*Eating 2 ½ cups of veggies per day reduces the risk of stroke by another 11%. 2

Studies on the Mediterranean diet with 5-7 servings of fruits & vegetables daily indicate: 

*5-7 servings  of fruits and veggies per day reduce the incidence of heart attack, stroke and death by 30%. 3 

*Seniors who eat 5-7 servings of fruits and veggies per day are 17% less likely to develop memory and thinking problems.4 

80,000 British research subjects agreed to eat 5 or more servings of fruits and veggies every day:  

*Those who consumed  these suggested amount of fruits and veggies reported that they were 27% happier with their lives than the research participants who ate less than 1 serving per day. 5 


All I’m saying is that this research is stacking up. Maybe it’s time to diverge from out old ways of eating and include fruits and veggies at every meal.  Just think about it….. 


You might also enjoy:
                                   Nutrition and Your Brain
                                   Super Foods Fantastic Foods to Heal Naturally
                                   Take the Pressure Off Your Pressure





References:

1.Fruits and Vegetable Consumption and Risk of Stroke
2.Fruits and Vegetable Consumption and Risk of Stroke
3.Primary Prevention of Cardiovascular Disease with a Mediterranean Diet
4.Adherence to a Mediterranean Diet and Risk of Incident Cognitive Impairment
5.7 a Day for Happiness and Mental Health

Self Care Is Not Selfish-guest post by Rev Terry Drew Karanen, LSW, MSW,DD

Do you find it difficult to address your own needs?

I know a woman who is a wonderful mother and homemaker, but she seldom takes time for herself. An executive I know works long hours during the week yet spends most of the weekend arranging meetings for the following week – evidenced by the deluge of emails received by her subordinates on Monday morning.


I’m not sure if we neglect our own needs from time-to-time because...

We live in a society that is constantly busy or if perhaps it might have something to do with the ideal of Christian martyrdom being a quality for which we should strive. The reason, in actuality, is irrelevant since constantly doing for others and neglecting ourselves is unhealthy.

Balance:

As with so many other issues in life this situation requires that we find balance. I’ve recently returned to the practice of tithing my time and talent, in addition to the regular financial tithing that has been a part of life for almost three decades. Tithing of your time is giving back to … wait for it … take deep breath … ready? … YOU!

Renewing ourselves:

When we tithe our time it means we slice out a regular amount of time to renew ourselves. It includes taking care of our own needs through study, meditation, prayer treatment work, exercise and play, to name just a few ways. If you’re anything like me you might find yourself so enjoying playing at your work that it somehow gets to be midday or early afternoon when you discover you forgot to eat breakfast. When you are living your bliss that can happen, but it still isn’t in our best interest to forget to eat!

Here’s another example. I’m the only one in my family who enjoys a strong cup of coffee. Half-caf and weak coffee just doesn't cut it. So instead of bowing to the majority or forcing them to water down the pot I’d like, I've started using the French press my friend, Bobbie, gave me years ago. It takes more time, but it’s time for ME that I’m spending doing something special for myself. Get the picture?

We must take care of ourselves:

What that means for each if us individually is unique to our lifestyle and needs. Whatever it is we need to do doesn’t translate into selfishness. I can remember working hard all day long – not a tedious thing since I enjoy my work – and deciding about four o’clock in the afternoon to have a cup of tea and watch a program I’d recorded. I’d just sat down when a family member came home, saw me with my feet up and the TV on and exclaimed, “WOW! I wish I could stay home all day, watch TV and eat bon bons!”

My answer, which wasn’t at all appreciated was, “And, my love, when you decide to set your life up to do that you’ll enjoy it just as much as I do!” You can’t let guilt prodders ruin your “me” time. Do yourself a favor this week and carve out at least a half hour every day to practice and enjoy some self care. You return rejuvenated and even more available to care for others.

Rev. Dr. Terry Drew Karanen, LSW, MSW, DD is a spiritual warrior. husband, minister, writer and social worker. Terry is also the Founder and Spiritual Leader of the Center for Spiritual Living in Cumberland Valley, Pennsylvania.

You can reach Terry at: http://drterry.blogspot.com/ or http://newthoughtpa.org/




What are your thoughts about self care?  Please share them in my comments box or you can email me at the address listed above.

You might also enjoy:
Help Yourself with Homeopathy
The Physical Effects of Obesity on Happiness

Here's What's Happening on This Blog.

Here’s What’s Happening on This Blog

Thank you to my readers for your questions and comments and support. In the case you are just recently beginning to subscribe to this blog, Here is some of what has been going on, in the form of recent popular posts.  I hope you will enjoy:

• 

  Your Thyroid Gland And You

  Think of your thyroid as the symphony conductor of your body’s energy levels. Imagine hearing your favorite music playing too fast, too...

   
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  Guest Post by Douglas Walker: Painting is a technology of consciousness

  “Mahalakshmi,” oil, 60”x60” —by Douglas Walker When I first took up painting a few years ago, it didn't take long to realize that ...

   
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  Lifestyle Changes for Better Sleep

  The sun rises, the sun sets, the moon shines longer as the month progresses. These natural rhythms of light and dark regulate our body’s cl...

   
• 

  The physical effects of obesity on happiness

  Did you ever hear  “eat all the food on your plate-somewhere in the world  children are starving”?  A  grave concern  for far too long was...

   
• 

  How To Find Love And Happiness In Four Steps

  “The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved.”  Mother Theresa  If only... Did you ever have the sens...

   
• 

  Three Essential Ingredients for Joy

  The natural state of being for our heart and soul is Joy. When we experience Joy our truest nature is revealed to us -our creativity and c...

   
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  3 Ways to Make Yourself Feel Instantly Better

  Ever have a time when you feel tired, run down, unenthusiastic or notice that your mood or energy is low?  Here are three simple low cost ...

 

                       Super Foods-Fantastic Foods to Heal Naturally

•  

  Deep Relaxation and Hawaiian Massage

   

  You are standing on a beach…..behind you birds in the coconut palms are singing. The warm water of the wide blue ocean laps at your toes ...

  If you like what you see on this blog, I'd appreciate your comments.
  You can use the comments box on this page or email me @
  drsiotabelle@gmail.com.

 

4 Out of 10 Americans May Be Obese-What 2 of Them Did About It.

Justin & Lauren, Sept. 2011

Not long ago I wrote about obesity rates and how our world is getting wider. 4 out of 10 Americans are overweight and since 1980 worldwide obesity rates have doubled.  Overweight & obesity are the 5th highest cause of death in the world.

 

Medical emergencies related to weight served as the wake up call for Justin & Lauren Shelton-two young Americans who decided to solve the problem of their own obesity. This is their story from an interview I did with Lauren.

"Both Justin and I were always bigger than the other kids. We each faced different challenges. It’s easy to be in denial and not realize that you are getting bigger that it’s actually happening. And then one day you say “wow-how did I get this way?” When we faced the medical emergencies we realized we had to take responsibility and the only way for us to lose weight was to do it for ourselves.

Everyone has to find what works for them. Anyone can do it. Stay positive and keep at it. You may make slips or mistakes or sometimes eat that donut. Justin can set his mind to not eating unhealthy things and just not eat them. For me it was a mental battle. I was a stress eater and needed more motivation. We had each other to help with the hard times. We understood each other and never judged one another as a failure.

Many have never struggled with looking sloppy in clothes no matter what you wear or the seat belts that don’t fit around you. Not being able to sit in regular chairs. All of this makes you feel bad about yourself and can even make you eat more. I used to be afraid to say no."

How they did it: Justin and Lauren got help from a supervised weight loss program. They began to follow healthy eating guidelines and started walking around the park and swimming. They kept track of everything they ate with a smart phone program and learned new recipes for healtier versions of foods they loved. The first month Justin lost 25 pounds and Lauren lost 30. Soon they were able to join a gym and began exercising 5-6 days a week at the gym. They used their weekend time for fun activities like hiking or swimming. Their food plan consisted of vegetables, fruits and lean meats. They still follow this diet and keep a record of all that they eat. Weekly weigh ins and keeping track of their progress on a graph helped them stay motivated and get through the hard times.

"Neither of us ever saw ourselves as small people-by doing this together we were able to support each other…learning about healthy foods and learning how to say no to the unhealthy foods and all the hard work. Sometimes there are psychological issues that come up when you go through a big physical change like this."
 
What is the greatest gift you received from this journey?

"My greatest gift is happiness and learning to love myself. No matter how many times bad things have happened. You can turn it around. Even if you are unhappy with yourself you can learn to love yourself no matter what size you are-you don’t need to hate yourself. If I can do it-you can."

   

Justin & Lauren Shelton, Septeber 2013-together they lost 572 pounds.

Justin & Lauren are happy to share what they have learned:https://www.facebook.com/lauren.shelton.739
Or email Lauren at:
Lauren@overcomingo.com

If you like what you see on this blog, I'd appreciate your thoughts.
You can email me:drsiotabelle@gmail.com. or use the comments box below.

You might also enjoy: What Does Healing Mean?
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                                    Addictions with Ganesha Mantra

Healing From a Place of Wholeness

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year"

Ralph Waldo Emerson

I believe that inside you, inside me and inside everyone a Wholeness exists and that all healing comes from that Wholeness. I believe our thoughts, centered on this Wholeness, can heal us.

Our thoughts help us heal

Each time we  perceive ourselves as well, grounded, happy, calm, peaceful and at ease we strengthen our ability to make that our new way of being.

Have you ever noticed that you can hide your positive feelings about yourself with thoughts that are depressing or anxiety producing by worrying, or by comparing yourself to others? 

Feeling desperate about losing weight or not having a body we like, living with chronic pain and fatigue, inflammation, or more serious illnesses can make our opportunities seem limited.  Needing a new job, a place to live or struggling in a floundering relationship can be equally daunting. Of course not every condition can be permanently reversed but what can change is our perceptions about ourselves and for that to happen we can turn to the Wholeness within us.

Psychologists use Cognitive Behavior Therapy to help people change their thinking in the midst of such challenges.  We can also begin a change inside ourselves with meditation, practicing compassion, gratitude and cultivating the awareness of what makes us happy and what helps us to feel Whole.

"Live quietly in the moment and see the beauty of all before you."

Paramahansa Yogananda

A new reality of Wholeness for deepest healing

As we turn our attention to consciously experiencing Wholeness within we may begin to feel new feelings of oneness, happiness and have  life affirming thoughts. Repeatedly turning our attention to the Wholeness within we will strengthen our ability to remember these feelings.  Over time it becomes easier to call them up.  Focusing on these new feelings several times a week creates a new reality of Wholeness within us and about us.

When we can remember our Wholeness and allow ourselves to embrace it-truly our deepest healing takes place. Then, our remembered Wholeness can become the foudnation upon which our special diets, medications, natural remedies, what we have heard from our families, friends and even our self talk rests.

Stefan’s Story

Recently I was asked to meet a man I'll call Stefan to see if I could help him experience more joy. Stefan is an 80 something gentleman who has many challenges. He can no longer walk and uses a wheel chair. He has dementia and can only speak in short phrases of 2-3 words.

Using simple questions I discovered that he was a retired interior decorator who loves nature and classical music. He liked my idea of driving to see some of the beautiful homes in our area.

Summer is just beginning its end here and the weather for our drive was gorgeous. We took our time driving by homes with dramatic landscaping, covered verandas, entry ways twined with morning glories and roses. Stefan let me know that he liked what we were seeing with just a few words "Beautiful, oh so beautiful"

As the ducks were settling onto the lake I pulled my car close to the water and we sat there sharing the grace of the  morning. "Beautiful, oh so beautiful".

I dialed up Il Divo, Sarah Brightman and Andrea Bocelli. As the music filled the car Stefan began to sway his upper body with the music and smiled.

A friend was out walking and stopped to greet us. After she continued on her way Stefan turned his eyes fully on me and said “So warm.”

We looked at every tree slowly, winding through the woods. Together we became one with each leaf on every tree and one with all the spaces in between each leaf and tree. Stefan’s eyes were luminous and he kept smiling as we drank in the beauty. Each tree was Stefan’s own universe of joy and light. "Beautiful, oh so beautiful."

By the time I returned Stefan to his memory care facility his entire being was glowing. Even though we had few words to share we were able to experience an entire universe of Wholeness which enriched and healed us both.

Try this on yourself

Find a way to recognize your own Wholeness or Oneness and when you are really feeling it say "yes  this is truly me." Breathe it in and if you can stand up straight with good posture and repeat that a few times and then breathe some more.

Anyone can do this-though we may each have a different way of enhancing our experience of Wholeness. It might be with music that sounds beautiful to you. Some people like Stefan can be truly renewed while they are out in nature. Others may only feel at ease and free inside their homes. Whether it is your cat or your car or something different-experiment with what it is that takes you out of your every day self and allows you to remember your own Wholeness and the sense that truly we are all One.

May your heart open.
May joy emerge.
May love flow through you.
May you heal and help others.

  Charlene Costanzo from "The 12 Gifts of Healing"

Music that Stefan enjoyed:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFZ7bBaYpcw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aF5QKHC7VDA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5EiBOhSnas



Happiness and Less Stress without IBS

The bus driver is having a bad hair day. You are on the edge of your seat hoping to make the airport in time to catch your flight.  You see how tense his shoulders are as he drives.  Finally you arrive at the airport expecting that he let you out at your destination…. Instead he opens the luggage hold only to throw ALL  the bags  into one big pile and yells “ I quit” as he runs away.

What a mess! After wrestling with those mixed up bags
you run to your gate and arrive soaking wet just as your plane is about to leave……

Adrenal Stress and IBS

What does this stressed out shuttle driver and a mad dash for a plane have to do with Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) and  Adrenal Stress? The bus driver represents your  adrenal glands… your stress reponse managers. When they get burned out or have bad hair days they signal the brain with a message that sounds like “I can’t take it anymore” this  triggers the symptoms of Irritable Bowel (IBS). The dash to get to a plane on time and that exhausted feeling once you get to your seat represents how IBS can feel.

Indicators of IBS
Gas , bloating, abdominal discomfort-loose watery stools, tremendous urgency,bouts of intestinal dumping, alternating constipation and diarrhea, mucus and sometimes blood in the stool are the most frequent symptoms of this condition.

IBS is the result of spastic colon with irregular bowel action-- but it is often driven by poor adrenal response.  Since these symptoms occur in the bathroom and can seem unrelated to any particular food or situation…. people with IBS may not realize that adrenal health & how their body deals with stress are key trigger for IBS.

1½ million people in the US have IBS while 10-15 % of the world’s population has IBS too. 26% of those with IBS miss work or school due to this condition- it’s not uncommon for them to change jobs or work from home so they can manage the amount of time they need to spend in the bathroom.

Other more serious conditions may have the same symptom-- it is a good idea to get checked out by an MD.  Make sure that nothing else is going on.  Anti- spasmodic, anti-anxiety, anti-inflammatory and antibiotics are used to treat IBS. These medications can reduce the severity symptoms making  it more manageable but rarely do they eliminate the condition. 

Take Steps Now To Improve Your IBS

*Calm down the gut- for at least 3 months switch to a dairy free, gluten free, junk food free diet. This requires some planning and education to do successfully but almost always it reduces the severity of symptoms and allows the spastic colon to relax so that the symptoms are improved. Clincial Detox may also be indicated.

*Evaluate adrenals- A saliva test can measure your adrenal hormone levels and track  how they fluctuate through a 24 hour period. With IBS the adrenals can over produce Cortisol(our stress regulating hormone) and be deficient in DHEA (which regulates our immune response). Natural therapies can rebuild your adrenals.

*Check your stool-negative bacteria, yeast  or parasites in the gut can produce very similar symptoms. Get a stool test-to make sure you have the  right balance of healthy bacteria and determine if negative organisms are causing problems.

*Check Vitamin D levels-When vitamin  D is too low it can trigger anxiety which then triggers intestinal dumping. Low levels of D can  be an indicator of stressed out adrenals.

*Restore mineral balances- with you may be clinically deficient in Calcium, Magnesium and Zinc. A urine test can determine what is needed. 

*Check your  vitamin labels- are you using Calcium carbonate, Magnesium oxide or Magnesium citrate and Zinc oxide? These specific forms of Calcium, Magnesium and Zinc can cause diarrhea &constipation and slow down your digestion.  Use MCHC calcium, Magnesium glycinate & Zinc glycinate –these will be easy to absorb, most quickly restore your mineral balances and support your digestion without aggravating your bowel function.

*Relax –learn how to meditate, keep a gratitude journal, get a pet that makes you happy, walk in nature for 20 minutes a day.  Ask yourself  how can I feel more relaxed, resourceful and happy?

IBS is a big uncomfortable problem -if you take these steps you will be able to reduce or eliminate your IBS. Your bus driver will be happy and more relaxed and your journey will be smooth and easy.

For more information- email me and ask about natural therapies & tests for IBS and how to use Clinical Detox to restore your intestine & adrenal health. 

You might also enjoy Deep Relaxtion and Hawaiian Massage and The Best Advice to Create Joy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The physical effects of obesity on happiness

Did you ever hear  “eat all the food on your plate-somewhere in the world  children are starving”?  A  grave concern  for far too long was that there was not enough food in the world and children were starving. We still have countries where there is not enough food and they do need help—but malnutrition rates are falling.

Sadly obesity rates are rising. Our world is getting “too wide”  Obesity is now a global epidemic the World Health Organization reports that over 1.5 billion adults are overweight and 550 million are obese.

Too many of us are eating more and moving less.

Infertility, memory loss, cognitive dysfunction-Alzheimers, blood sugar imbalance,  heart disease, diabetes, certain types of cancer, chronic pain and lack of energy are some of the many conditions now recognized as the physical  effects of obesity. Did you know that   being overweight has an actual physical effect on our happiness. People who become obese and stay that way have a 55% chance of becoming depressed. People who are depressed have 58% chance of becoming obese.

It’s a sad cycle of becoming rounder… the worse one feels- the worse they eat. How easy is it to feel happy when we don’t feel good? How easy is it to make healthy food choices when you actually feel bad?

Our brains are smart! Our brains are designed to help us feel good with something called the “reward center” located in the back of our brain. This reward center  sends out signals which tell us whether we are feeling good or bad. What we eat, what we feel, the activities we do, how we sleep, where we live, what we think-- ALL OF THIS triggers a response in our  brain to create sensations of feeling good, bad or neutral. If the sensations make us feel good our reward center signals pleasure and sharpens our attention so that what makes us feel good becomes a learned habit.  We want to repeat it again and again to keep enjoying what is bringing us pleasure.

The reward center works both ways ….when we have a bad experience- the same process occurs only different chemicals trigger  responses of  anger, fear, anxiety, depression and negativity-- teaching us that we may not want to repeat the activity that makes us feel bad.

It is easy to understand that eating something delicious will make us feel good even if it is only temporary. But too many of us are eating too much and  much of what we eat is making us feel bad.
There are many ways to stimulate our reward centers and increase our pleasure so we don’t have to use food as our primary reward. Surprisingly the following steps  enhance well being and with a little practice they can become positive habits that help us feel happier:

*being kind
*performing an act of giving
*listening to relaxing music
*exercising in a manner that you enjoy
*breathing deeply
*sleeping longer
*meditating
*speaking words of gratitude and appreciation
*being in nature
*having a pet

If you are overweight nutritional coaching or instruction in what foods can help you feel better and make weight loss successful can be quite valuable. Remember it can take some time for a weight loss program to be successful.  In the meantime think about making these steps permanent habits to enhance your well being and increase your happiness so that you feel better and enjoy life more.

You may also enjoy reading Beating Obesity, Three Essential Ingredients for Joy